Imagine the possibilities.........

I started this journey with a strange belief that there would be time for at least a few long days at the beach and a couple of yoga classes.

Instead it seems that 4am is a prime time to be wide awake thinking about phase 94 of my business which I will execute when I have completed phases 2-92. Oh after I have done a full days work, need to get up at 6am and somehow fit in general life.

Work life balance, now thats just an urban myth.

Don't get me wrong here, I am completely in bliss, totally loving the sheer loveliness of being far away from the watchful eye of the corporate machine and my creativity is thriving. But there are times in life when thriving is just not appropriate. Like bed time.

My brain seems to have figured out that the world is quiet at that time for one reason only. For it to THINK!

Think, function and go into total overdrive when it should be ASLEEP!!!

Can I please have an off button?? Just for one night, that is all I ask for. Just a few wee hours in which to have uninterrupted sleep. Because I can only do so many things at once. I would like it if perhaps my brain could pace itself, perhaps saving some of these ideas for, I don't know....RETIREMENT??

However, the one true lovely thing about not working for the machine, which may indeed be the root cause of abovementioned overdrive (besides being able to say no whenever I damn well please, ignore the phone if I choose and take a day, week or month off without counting the days, asking permission and submitting a form that calculates my holiday to the very last hour.....oh and getting excited over an idea knowing that the only thing that can limit me is me as there is noone sombrely telling me there is no budget, legal won't approve and its not in the plan)

Yes besides all that; the one true lovely thing is literally having time to smell the roses. My brain may not be switching off but perhaps that is because it is so stimulated by a bit of rose smelling.

I had forgotten what it was like to take the time to appreciate the little things. A sneaky hour spent in the florist, a morning at the library, a good natter and brainstorm with a friend (over lunch and coffee of course and then my friend summed the afternoon nicely with.... "we are like a man and a woman......it was only a matter of time before we got down to business").

I wonder if my brain is just confused.

Maybe I forgot that it was ok to smell the roses and so my brain has decided, now that it is sniffing it won't switch off??? Ever!!!!

I am excited by the possibilities of life, if not a little overwhelmed by what a mind can do when not limited by the constraints of a structured work environment.

It begs the question then........Imagine the possibilities if only the machines could harness the possibilities that come from freedom and excitement ? Imagine..........

How exactly do they do it?

Have you ever had one of those weeks that has just left you reeling? Conferences, interstate travel, the loss of a memory stick, doing things on the wrong day...twice!!! And well just getting yourself dressed in clean clothes everyday for work. (I wore the same clothes two days in a row this week, although it was in different states so I figured that was perfectly fine)

I went on holidays a few weeks ago and had the most wonderful time, however I feel like I got back and was hit by a bus. Or rather hit by my life....and slapped in the face a few times just for fun!!!!

I have always thought that sometimes it is almost better to just not have holidays. (note...I did say almost)

Somehow the not knowing what life is like on the other side, makes dealing with living this life, just that bit easier.

Over the past few years, people have often asked me, how I manage to juggle it all, how I manage to get up, go to work, drive hours to work, look after a child, start a business and my response has always been that "well you just do what you have to do and when you have a bigger goal in sight it makes it that bit easier"

However after I have returned from my holiday and spent time on the other more relaxed side, I just want to make it clear I have absolutely NO IDEA how I have been doing it. Not only that I have no idea how stay at home mums do it, how working mums do it and I have even less idea how single mums with more than one child do it. Anna Bligh (first woman elected in her own right as a state premier in Australia, mother of 2) and Dr Fiona Wood (WA's only female plastic surgeon, Australian of the year, mother of 6), how you do it is completely beyond me.

I count myself as pretty lucky, I have an adorable little girl (well mostly perhaps except for that moment this afternoon when she told me I wasn't her mum any more and threw her food on the ground and did everything that I asked her not to), I have a supportive family and I have a new business to focus on and daycare three days a week.

Still I am left wondering, if I don't know how I have been doing this, this where someone was telling me what I had to do for 40 hours of the week, how on earth do I know how I am going to do this next bit?